A Feeling Worth Stating

Current Song: "Whispers In The Dark" by Skillet

It's been quite the while since I've written anything new and the throws of everyday life have prevented it. Anyways, it's Monday at 11:03pm as I write this. I cannot but feel shame and remorse for how I spent the longer portion of my Lord's day yesterday. Mum went to church with me to which I thank God. The worship was amazing and the sermon was great. The whole service was touching to me. After that though, the rest of my day was shot. As James says ever so eloquently, God temps no one yet we are tempted by our own evil desires and this brings about sin which brings forth death (James 1:13-15). Oh how many times I can think of my own personal sins and have these verses at the very forefront of my mind. I wonder if my heart was truly in the right place Sunday morning. Maybe it was yet I didn't take heed to what James says about our own evil desires. How many times have I seen God's grace in my life and the truth of His eternal word only to sin so blatantly against that very God.

One of the most appealing things to me about heaven is the thought of no longer sinning against God. And yet I feel the sinfulness of my very nature. Oh how I can relate to the apostle Paul in the second half of Romans 7. The struggle in your mind to follow God with the struggle of your body to commit sin. May Christ sanctify the inner man inside of me. For my soul's sake. I pray that I would not live a life of godliness on the outside yet be completely pagan on the inside just as the pharisees were accused of doing by Jesus Himself. Its at these times when I commit sin that I truly feel atheistic in belief. It was once said by someone famous who's identity escapes me, " All christians are practical atheist when they choose to sin." May all believers continue to grow in sanctification. May I continually grow in my mortification of my own personal sin. And all this can only be accomplished by the Holy Spirit.